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Issue #5 - Entertainment Page

by Sarah G.
by Sarah G.
by Sarah G.
by Sarah G.

Dear Jane,
   I love dairy. I just can’t live without it. There’s cheese, Starbucks lates, and cheese. Honestly, if I had to pick one thing in life to live for, I would say dairy. There’s just one problem: I’m lactose intolerant.
   I wasn’t when I was younger, but it did develop a few years ago. Every day, I start my day off with a late, and eat cheese with all three meals. Every day, I have a horrible stomachache. Is there anything you can do to help me?
Sincerely,
Loving Lacy

Dear Longing Lacy,
    Have you ever heard of dairy pills? Other than that, there’s a few things you could try. If you ring a bell on the full moon three times for 17 years, I’ve heard you’ll be cured in the next life. 
   You could also moo like a cow before you eat anything with lactose in it. You might be cured of your ailment in the afterlife. Plus, there’s always the possibility of carving “lactose free” into all of your cheese. That doesn’t do anything, but it’s funny. 
Signing off,
Jane